Texting away your relationships
If you want to have a relationship and a connection, call me! Don’t carry on a conversation via text unless it’s of the utmost importance to get those words in writing. Texting as a means for conversation is so impersonal. The “hey, how’s it going, luv ya” translates to mean – I’m really busy, not available nor have the time/desire to connect so I’ll just pop in and out. Now that takes a lot of effort right? To me, it feels like everyone is so disconnected these days from themselves, their world, and people. They’re so tangled in the world of technology and in little snippets of what everyone else is doing that they're not really venturing into the connection that builds relationships – to be there for or with someone, be vulnerable, be real, be available in verbal conversation. What about saying I have 15 minutes free and I would really like to hear your voice? That might open things up and really invite people to be there with us right? Perhaps people don’t want to connect that intimately because they will have to show up, they will have to take the time, and they will have to feel and listen. It's more difficult to multitask while in a verbal conversation. You can stay more disconnected while texting. Maybe that’s it. We've been conditioned to disconnect???? (I may be on a bit of a rant but damn it, I feel the emotion so I'm going with it!)
So I say again…. if you want a relationship and connection – call. If you want to keep your distance and create the illusion of connection – text. Personally, I call people on their birthday. I sing them happy birthday and they hear my voice. If they don’t answer I leave a singing message. I make the effort because they mean something to me and they’re worth creating the time for. Often we get caught up in must dos, and lists, and projects, and errands, and work, and family obligations, and….. we say…. “life happens or life gets in the way”. I ask - what is this thing called LIFE that you refer to and how is it happening and getting in the way of your relationships? Perhaps you want it there. You want the distraction and the busyness. That’s your definition of life – all those THINGS and responsibilities you take on and in. Who made the choice for you? It almost sounds like life happening and getting in the way is something outside of your personal choice of invitation. Is it?
Reflect on this….. what if all that “happening of life” was gone in an instant and you were left with nothing to fill your time? Or what happens when that big project is completed or you lose the job that consumed the last for 4 years and every waking moment of your life? What about those relationships that life got in the way of? Would they still be there? Would there be any sort of connection left?
As seen thru my eyes, (and this truly is my perspective), the explanation of “I forgot, I’ve been busy, work is so crazy right now, etc” is just a method to hide from yourself and your connection with others (which includes me). It’s a way to keep doing what you do, and staying where you are. When you shake it up a bit it becomes uncomfortable, so you do what you know, and on it goes.
When we suddenly wake up (if we ever do) and realize we’ve been letting “life happens” define us, it can be quite a shock. So today, take a moment to reflect on your connections and your relationships. Reflect on the choices you make and the technology you invite into your space. Texting may be keeping you away from the most important relationships you’ll ever grow with. Think about it….