Effort vs flow ---- release and let it go

I’ve been writing with my good ole fashioned pencil and notebook for at least 10 years. The process feels very flowy and easy. Everything just pours out of my hand onto the page. Making the transition to the keyboard and creating this blog feels different and I’ve had to work with the "feel" of when it feels like effort. Yes, I notice you effort. It comes in words like “what should I write, what would be most helpful, what topic do you want, etc”

So in this moment I switch to “free write” mode.

(I tend to stare out the window and just type)

Here’s what followed:

This feels hard. This is not supposed to be hard and I’m not loving the energy of that effort. Do I know how to shift energy?? Well of course I do silly. That’s what I do! So what must I do now? Find my center, breathe, let my fingers flow and connect with Source to allow what I’m supposed to say to flow thru my fingers and on to the page. Writing is a process of flow. If you’re in a relaxed state, everything that is in your mind flows onto the page and allows you to look at it later. That’s the important point. Don’t read what you write as you write it. You will be amazed at how much will come forth when you do that, in a state of ease.

I stop the free write and continue:

And now I’m remembering….. life is a process of flow. When you feel the try and the effort, go free and switch it up. You know what try feels like - the to do lists, the plans, the hard core effort to create something. Now remember what flow feels like. Awakening with a sense of wonder and excitement, enthusiasm and giggles. Larger question --- Do you allow that flow into your daily life? Noticing me - I ask - do you allow yourself to return to flow when you are pushing to get one more thing done? When you feel the effort but keep going? What if you remember to take breaks and diddle off into something that feels good every time you feel that discord. I’ve done it and noticed how EVERYTHING shifts and the flow returns. I NEVER get anything to flow (in the true feel of flow) thru effort and trying, even if I THINK I do. And seriously…. I’m really good at effort and trying!! I’ve perfected the sport of getting things done no matter how you feel about it. And now, as I’m making different choices, I notice things are changing. I feel discord in my body when I’m trying, and I notice a yummy, almost lightness feel in my body when I flow. When I flow with ease, everything seems to line up. Why wouldn't I choose ease? Ease conserves my energy and actually pumps me up. I get more done in less time with a lightness and enthusiasm that is, in one word, enjoyable. We tend to think we have an agenda and we must get those to dos crossed off like we intended. But really??? Do we have to if we're not feeling it?

Like my bathroom mirror (my loudest reminder of flow)

I wanted a mirror for my newly constructed bathroom. The mirror, of course, is a focal point - who doesn’t have a mirror in their bathroom! I recall how I felt about it. When I looked thru magazines and design websites, it felt like effort, like decisions and nothing feels right. So I just stepped back into my mind. I allowed myself to dream of what I might like in a mirror. I wanted it to have a wood, earthy feel to it, perhaps distressed, and a greenish color to match the granite counter tops. I thought of creating a mirrored frame from 100 year old window frame wood. I didn’t have the tools, skills or enthusiasm to create it from scratch but I could envision it so….. I just thought about it for a bit and then completely forgot about it.

Many weeks later, I’m shopping for nothing in particular (my favorite way to do it BTW) at my local Ross store. As I’m wandering and looking and just poking around the store, there it is! I see a mirror that is the perfect size, looks like a picture frame, and is a distressed green color. Everything I want, sitting there waiting for me to find it. No thinking involved, no effort, it just comes to me. Now THAT was easy! I buy it, bring it home, it matches perfectly and it still hangs there today, reminding me of just how easy this can be!